Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

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Updated 17 May 2022
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Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

  • Norwegian Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish Pernilla Sjoholm to deliver special keynote at Arab Women Forum
  • Defrauded by Israeli con artist, women have hit back by speaking up about experience of romance scams

DUBAI: Just swipe left. At least that is what many an indecisive Tinder user may have found themselves doing after the notorious case of the dating app fraudster dubbed the “Tinder Swindler” came to light in an explosive Netflix docu-drama earlier this year.

Despite being defrauded by the conman, Norwegian TV personality Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish business owner Pernilla Sjoholm are hitting back by speaking up about their experience.

The women will appear during a special keynote address titled “When women fight back” at the Arab Women Forum, held in partnership with Arab News, at the Palazzo Versace Dubai on May 17.

“It was very traumatic,” Sjoholm told Arab News, reflecting on her experience ahead of Tuesday’s forum appearance. “It wasn’t only about the money you have lost. You have lost the way you viewed yourself, how you viewed everything.

“I used to think about fraud as: ‘Oh my God, who gets defrauded? You must be of lower intelligence or something.’ And I’m very embarrassed to say this today, because of what I lost.

“I was 31 years old, and it was not the way I would have imagined my life to be. To lose everything. You also lose your soul.”

Based on an expose by Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper known under the abbreviation VG, the program unearthed the story of Israeli national Shimon Hayut, who allegedly posed on the dating app Tinder as Simon Leviev, claiming to be the son of a diamond mogul.

Hayut notoriously charmed women and persuaded them to loan him money, swindling an estimated $10 million from people across the globe.

According to reports, Hayut followed a pattern. After matching with unsuspecting women on Tinder, he would take them on a lavish first date and slowly build up a relationship, all the while dating other women.

Eventually, the fraudster would confide in them that a nefarious set of “enemies” were after him, persuading the women to send him money on the understanding that he would quickly pay them back.

After a nifty piece of counter-swindling by one woman, Ayleen Koeleman, who had been alerted to the con by the expose in VG, Hayut was arrested in 2019 and sentenced to 15 months in prison for fraud in Israel.

However, Hayut served only five months behind bars before being released. He has never been charged for crimes related to Fjellhoy and Sjoholm, and denies their claims of fraud.

And the story does not end there. In a shocking twist, Hayut is now pursuing a Hollywood career, while the women he targeted remain in debt to this day.

“We were very disappointed,” said Sjoholm. “Unfortunately, there is no extradition from Israel to Europe. So he’s still there.

“We don’t think that they handled this case properly and they should have. And, unfortunately, that is the way it happens in a lot of fraud cases. I mean, I just know the numbers in Sweden. They drop 96 percent of all the cases they get, because they have too much.”

Instead of consigning themselves to a life of victimhood, both Sjoholm and Fjellhoy are working to inspire women across the world to identify and fight back against romance scams.

“We have talked about a lot of the shame that surrounds fraud and I think that it’s so important to stand up and say that this could happen to anyone,” said Sjoholm.

“Because it’s so common that fraudsters get away with fraud due to people being scared of sharing their story. So I definitely know that we helped a lot of people and hopefully will help a lot of people in the future as well.”

According to Action Fraud, the UK’s national reporting center for fraud and cybercrime, the majority of victims of romance fraud are women. Sjoholm believes women are specifically targeted for their perceived emotional vulnerabilities.

“I think that we women are more emotional people,” she said. “These fraudsters work a lot with emotions, because it is a form of emotional abuse.”

The Tinder Swindler case has raised many questions about what responsibility dating apps ought to hold for romance scams and what more they could be doing to safeguard users.

“I don’t feel like there was a lot that the dating app could have done in our case,” said Fjellhoy, also speaking to Arab News ahead of the forum.

“I feel like just doing proper identity checks so you can’t catfish someone, for example. We see that they have some, but I feel like fraud is much larger than just what happens on the dating app. They take you away from the dating app. It’s just one avenue of many that fraudsters are using.”

Beyond dating apps tightening their safeguards, there have also been calls to improve awareness in schools so that young people are better equipped to spot catfishing — the use of fake accounts to lure victims — and romance scams.

“If you’re going to educate young people, maybe teach them more about what kind of different people exist in the world,” said Fjellhoy.

“There are some people that don’t have empathy, there are psychopaths and narcissists who will take advantage of your empathy and those types of things. But I think it’s important to not put too much emphasis on us as victims as well.”

Indeed, there is a danger of victim blaming if the responsibility for spotting scammers is placed on users, when the onus ought to be on clamping down on fraudsters.

“We didn’t do anything wrong here,” said Fjellhoy. “And fraud will always happen. But, when fraud happens, how do we, as a society, talk about how to stop it?”

Nevertheless, there are several red flags that dating app users can look out for, says Sjoholm, including “love bombing” — the practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection with a view to influence or manipulate them.

However, Sjoholm believes that the very nature of social media makes it difficult to determine the truth about someone. “When it comes to social media, it is entirely about everyone wanting to show off their best side,” she said.

“Everyone wants to show off the good parts. When it comes to social media, I would say that 95 percent is just fraud in general.”

The mental health repercussions of romance fraud cannot be understated, as victims grapple with both the financial fallout and intense feelings of shame. “Regarding how your mental health is when you realize you’ve been defrauded, I think, for me, why I felt so low that I ended up in a psychiatric ward is that no one took you seriously,” said Fjellhoy.

“And I feel like, for example, you go to the police and they just brush you off. And I tried to contact the banks and they told me: ‘Well, you still need to pay down the loans.’ And you’re still mentally low. It’s double — emotional and economic. You see no way out.”

As a result of her ordeal, Fjellhoy established the Action Reaction Foundation to focus on the mental health challenges of survivors and to lobby for stronger laws as well as policies to protect victims.

One of the lasting effects of the ordeal is an inability to trust others easily. “I’m still having trouble with trust,” said Sjoholm.

“I have more good days than I have bad days. But even on my good days, when someone does something very nice toward me, I can sometimes feel like there’s an agenda behind it. That someone is there to hurt me.

“I can still socialize. I can meet new people, but I’m having a very hard time to really talk to people. I don’t want to take away trust. You should be trusting people, you should be helping people, because that is what makes this world better. But, of course, this has been a tremendous trauma.”

For Fjellhoy, it is also about having trust in the system to protect victims and take their claims seriously. 

“That the police will be there to protect you, that if you go to the bank, and you’re saying you’re being defrauded, you can get some peace and quiet to figure things out, that they will give that to us,” said Fjellhoy.

“Just so many things that could have made everything that happened afterward much easier, which would have made the fight easier.”

For others who have fallen victim to romance scams, Fjellhoy’s advice is to speak up.

“Please report it to the police, no matter what,” she said. “We know that it hasn’t gone our way. But they need to know about all cases so they can see how big it actually is.

“Please, report it.”


Lebanon MPs demand UN protection of heritage sites from Israel attacks

Picture shows the destruction at the site of an Israeli airstrike that targeted Baalbek in Lebanon’s eastern Bekaa Valley.
Updated 5 sec ago
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Lebanon MPs demand UN protection of heritage sites from Israel attacks

BEIRUT: More than 100 Lebanese lawmakers appealed to the United Nations on Thursday to ensure the preservation of heritage sites in areas heavily bombed by Israel during its war with Hezbollah.
The appeal to the head of the UN cultural agency, UNESCO, Audrey Azoulay, followed Israeli strikes near ancient ruins in the southern city of Tyre and the eastern city of Baalbek in recent weeks.
“During the devastating war on Lebanon, Israel has caused grave human rights violations and atrocities,” the lawmakers said more than a month into the Israel-Hezbollah war.
“As parliamentarians, we bring to your attention an urgent need: the protection of Lebanon’s historic sites in Baalbek, Tyre, Sidon and other invaluable landmarks currently at risk due to the escalation of the atrocities,” it added.
“These cherished landmarks, treasured not only by our nation but by the world, face imminent risk as the war escalates.”
Lebanon is home to six UNESCO World Heritage sites, including Roman ruins in Baalbek and Tyre, where Hezbollah holds sway.
In Baalbek, Israeli strikes on Wednesday destroyed a heritage house and damaged a historic hotel near the city’s Roman temples, according to local authorities.
The strike hit just a few meters (yards) from the ruins, the closest since the start of the war, officials said.
“We are waiting for engineers from UNESCO and the Directorate General of Antiquities” to determine if there was any damage, Baalbek mayor Mustafa Al-Shall told AFP.
In Tyre, Israeli strikes have hit close to the city’s Roman ruins.
UNESCO said last month it was “closely following the impact of the ongoing conflict on the World Heritage site of Tyre,” using remote sensing tools and satellite imagery.
The Lebanese MPs called on Azoulay to “urgently prioritize the protection of these historic sites by mobilizing UNESCO’s authority, securing international attention, and advocating for protective measures.”
“This appeal goes beyond physical preservation; it is about safeguarding the traditions, stories and values these sites represent — legacies that connect our past to our future.”
Hezbollah and Israel have been at war since late September, when Israel broadened its focus from fighting Hamas in the Gaza Strip to securing its northern border, even as the Gaza war continues.
Since September 23, more than 2,600 people have been killed in Israeli strikes on Lebanon, according to Health Minister Firass Abiad.
Prime Minister Najib Mikati called on Monday for a ceasefire “to protect our country’s cultural heritage, including the ancient archaeological sites of Baalbek and Tyre.”
He called on the UN Security Council to “take swift and decisive action to protect these historical treasures.”


Israel army tells north Gaza residents to leave ‘combat zone’

Updated 29 min 5 sec ago
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Israel army tells north Gaza residents to leave ‘combat zone’

  • “For your safety, move south immediately,” military spokesman Avichay Adraee said on X
  • The latest call follows a series of evacuation orders for large swathes of the Gaza Strip’s north

JERUSALEM: The Israeli military called for the evacuation of several areas in northern Gaza on Thursday, again warning that Palestinian militants were launching rockets from there.
“We inform you that the designated area is considered a dangerous combat zone. For your safety, move south immediately,” military spokesman Avichay Adraee said in a post on X along with a map of the area in Gaza City’s northwest.
The latest call follows a series of evacuation orders for large swathes of the Gaza Strip’s north, where Israeli forces have intensified their operations since early October.
Israeli government spokesman David Mencer told reporters that “we are isolating Gazan civilians away from Hamas terrorists so we can get to the terrorists” still in that area.
“Right now, there are residents of the northern part of Gaza who have been evacuated to safer places,” he added.


Greek tanker crippled by Houthi militants starts oil transfer

he Sounion caught fire and lost power after being attacked on August 21 off the coast of Hodeidah. (Aspides)
Updated 07 November 2024
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Greek tanker crippled by Houthi militants starts oil transfer

ATHENS: A Greek oil tanker crippled by Yemen’s Houthi militants and towed to avert an environmental disaster began transferring its cargo of over a million barrels on Thursday, the state-run ANA news agency said.
The Sounion caught fire and lost power after being attacked on August 21 off the coast of Hodeidah, a Houthi-held port city.
The following day its 25-strong crew was rescued. The rebels claimed to have detonated charges on the ship’s deck, sparking new fires.
ANA said the Sounion had begun transferring its cargo of 150,000 tons of crude to another tanker, Delta Blue, at a “safe anchorage” in the port of Suez.
“The vessel is at Suez, and as it’s at a safe anchorage, we are no longer monitoring it,” a source at Greece’s merchant marine ministry told AFP.
Citing ministry sources, ANA said the operation began on Thursday and will last between three and four weeks.
In September, EU maritime safety body Aspides said the Sounion was not under its protection at the time of the attack.
The ship’s original course “was a bit of a mystery,” the ministry source told AFP. “We were told it was heading from Iraq to Singapore. If that were the case, how did it end up in the Red Sea?“
The operation to tow the vessel to safety in September required a tugboat escorted by three frigates, helicopters and a special forces team, ANA said.
Had the vessel broken up or exploded, it could have caused an oil spill four times larger than that caused by the Exxon Valdez in 1989 off Alaska, experts had warned.
The EU naval force was formed in February to protect merchant vessels in the Red Sea from attacks by Houthis.
The Houthis have waged a campaign against international shipping to show solidarity with Hamas in its war with Israel in the Gaza Strip.
They have been firing drones and missiles at ships in the vital commercial route, saying they are targeting vessels linked to Israel, the US and Britain.
The United States, with the support of allies led by Britain, has carried out repeated air strikes on rebel bases in Yemen.


Lebanon says 3 killed, UN peacekeepers wounded in Israel strikes

Members of the UNIFIL peacekeeping force enter a bus at the site of an Israeli strike at the northern entrance of Sidon.
Updated 07 November 2024
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Lebanon says 3 killed, UN peacekeepers wounded in Israel strikes

  • Three Lebanese soldiers manning the checkpoint were also wounded alongside members of the Malaysian contingent of UNIFIL, according to the army

SIDON: The Lebanese army said an Israeli strike on a vehicle near a checkpoint in the southern city of Sidon on Thursday killed three people and wounded troops and UN peacekeepers.
“The Israeli enemy targeted a car while it was passing through the Awali checkpoint,” the main northern entrance to Sidon, the army said.
With the exception of a few limited strikes, Sidon, a Sunni Muslim-majority city, has been relatively spared the deadly air raids targeting south Lebanon in Israel’s war against the Iran-backed Hezbollah movement.
The strike killed three people, all of them passengers in the targeted vehicle, the army said.
Three Lebanese soldiers manning the checkpoint were also wounded alongside members of the Malaysian contingent of UNIFIL, according to the army.
The UNIFIL peacekeeping force said a “convoy bringing newly-arrived peacekeepers to south Lebanon was passing Sidon when a drone strike occurred nearby.”
“Five peacekeepers were lightly injured and treated by the Lebanese Red Cross on the spot. They will continue to their posts,” it said, urging warring parties “to avoid actions putting peacekeepers or civilians in danger.”
UNIFIL has thousands of peacekeepers
Lebanon’s official National News Agency said a UNIFIL vehicle was on the “same lane” during the strike, which left UN peacekeepers with “minor injuries.”
An AFP correspondent in the area saw the charred, mangled remains of the targeted vehicle which was only a few meters away from an army checkpoint.
The correspondent saw UNIFIL peacekeepers gathered on the sidewalk near the checkpoint, some of them bloodied and wounded after the raid, as paramedics attended to their injuries.
The UNIFIL convoy comprised a number of busses, the correspondent said.
Israeli raids have intensified in recent weeks on Haret Saida, a densely-populated Sidon suburb that has a significant population of Shiite Muslims.
Israel has also increasingly launched targeted strikes on vehicles. A woman was killed Thursday in an Israeli strike targeting a car on a key road linking the capital Beirut with the Bekaa Valley and Syria, a security source told AFP.
Lebanon’s National News Agency reported earlier that “an enemy drone targeted a car in Araya,” adding that the strike left the route blocked to vehicular traffic.
The highway links Beirut to the Syrian capital of Damascus, through the Lebanese mountains.


Hezbollah calls for US action, not words, as Trump reclaims White House

Updated 07 November 2024
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Hezbollah calls for US action, not words, as Trump reclaims White House

  • “It might be a change in the party who is in power, but when it comes to Israel, they have more or less the same policy,” Moussawi told Reuters
  • “We want to see actions, we want to see decisions taken”

BEIRUT: Hezbollah welcomes any effort to stop the war in Lebanon but does not pin its hopes for a ceasefire on a particular US administration, Hezbollah lawmaker Ibrahim Al-Moussawi said on Thursday when asked about Donald Trump’s election victory.
“It might be a change in the party who is in power, but when it comes to Israel, they have more or less the same policy,” Moussawi told Reuters.
“We want to see actions, we want to see decisions taken,” he said. Israel and Iran-backed Hezbollah have exchanged fire for more than a year, in parallel with the Gaza war, but fighting has escalated since late September, with Israeli troops intensifying bombing of Lebanon’s south and east and making ground incursions into border villages.
Israel says it is targeting Hezbollah infrastructure and military assets, while avoiding civilians. Hezbollah and Lebanese officials point to the rising death toll, with more than 3,000 killed, and widespread destruction in the country as evidence that Israel is targeting civilians. US diplomatic efforts to halt fighting between Israel and Hezbollah, which included a 60-day ceasefire proposal, faltered last week ahead of the US election on Tuesday in which former President Donald Trump recaptured the White House.
Moussawi acknowledged the heavy toll of Israeli attacks that have blown apart thousands of buildings, mostly in Lebanon’s Shiite Muslim-dominated south and east and Beirut’s southern suburbs, but said the group’s military capabilities remained strong.
“Our hearts are broken — we are losing very dear lives. This feeling that cannot be punished or brought to international justice is a result of USsupport which renders them immune to accountability,” he said.
“America is a full partner in what’s happening because they can exercise influence to stop this destruction.”
Massad Boulos, a Lebanese-American billionaire who is the father-in-law of Trump’s daughter, Tiffany, said he would be in charge of negotiating with the Lebanese side to reach an agreement to end the war, Lebanese broadcaster Al Jadeed quoted him as saying this week.
He also said that Trump was aiming to end the war before he took office in January, Al Jadeed reported. Reuters could not immediately reach Boulos.
The Israeli government celebrated Trump’s return to power, saying he was a leader who would support them “unconditionally.”
STRIKE AT ARMY CHECKPOINT
Overnight on Wednesday, Israel carried out a series of strikes in Beirut’s southern suburbs, including at least one strike just tens of meters from Beirut airport’s runways.
Lebanese Transport Minister Ali Hamiye said the airport was functioning normally on Thursday.