Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

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Updated 17 May 2022
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Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

  • Norwegian Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish Pernilla Sjoholm to deliver special keynote at Arab Women Forum
  • Defrauded by Israeli con artist, women have hit back by speaking up about experience of romance scams

DUBAI: Just swipe left. At least that is what many an indecisive Tinder user may have found themselves doing after the notorious case of the dating app fraudster dubbed the “Tinder Swindler” came to light in an explosive Netflix docu-drama earlier this year.

Despite being defrauded by the conman, Norwegian TV personality Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish business owner Pernilla Sjoholm are hitting back by speaking up about their experience.

The women will appear during a special keynote address titled “When women fight back” at the Arab Women Forum, held in partnership with Arab News, at the Palazzo Versace Dubai on May 17.

“It was very traumatic,” Sjoholm told Arab News, reflecting on her experience ahead of Tuesday’s forum appearance. “It wasn’t only about the money you have lost. You have lost the way you viewed yourself, how you viewed everything.

“I used to think about fraud as: ‘Oh my God, who gets defrauded? You must be of lower intelligence or something.’ And I’m very embarrassed to say this today, because of what I lost.

“I was 31 years old, and it was not the way I would have imagined my life to be. To lose everything. You also lose your soul.”

Based on an expose by Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper known under the abbreviation VG, the program unearthed the story of Israeli national Shimon Hayut, who allegedly posed on the dating app Tinder as Simon Leviev, claiming to be the son of a diamond mogul.

Hayut notoriously charmed women and persuaded them to loan him money, swindling an estimated $10 million from people across the globe.

According to reports, Hayut followed a pattern. After matching with unsuspecting women on Tinder, he would take them on a lavish first date and slowly build up a relationship, all the while dating other women.

Eventually, the fraudster would confide in them that a nefarious set of “enemies” were after him, persuading the women to send him money on the understanding that he would quickly pay them back.

After a nifty piece of counter-swindling by one woman, Ayleen Koeleman, who had been alerted to the con by the expose in VG, Hayut was arrested in 2019 and sentenced to 15 months in prison for fraud in Israel.

However, Hayut served only five months behind bars before being released. He has never been charged for crimes related to Fjellhoy and Sjoholm, and denies their claims of fraud.

And the story does not end there. In a shocking twist, Hayut is now pursuing a Hollywood career, while the women he targeted remain in debt to this day.

“We were very disappointed,” said Sjoholm. “Unfortunately, there is no extradition from Israel to Europe. So he’s still there.

“We don’t think that they handled this case properly and they should have. And, unfortunately, that is the way it happens in a lot of fraud cases. I mean, I just know the numbers in Sweden. They drop 96 percent of all the cases they get, because they have too much.”

Instead of consigning themselves to a life of victimhood, both Sjoholm and Fjellhoy are working to inspire women across the world to identify and fight back against romance scams.

“We have talked about a lot of the shame that surrounds fraud and I think that it’s so important to stand up and say that this could happen to anyone,” said Sjoholm.

“Because it’s so common that fraudsters get away with fraud due to people being scared of sharing their story. So I definitely know that we helped a lot of people and hopefully will help a lot of people in the future as well.”

According to Action Fraud, the UK’s national reporting center for fraud and cybercrime, the majority of victims of romance fraud are women. Sjoholm believes women are specifically targeted for their perceived emotional vulnerabilities.

“I think that we women are more emotional people,” she said. “These fraudsters work a lot with emotions, because it is a form of emotional abuse.”

The Tinder Swindler case has raised many questions about what responsibility dating apps ought to hold for romance scams and what more they could be doing to safeguard users.

“I don’t feel like there was a lot that the dating app could have done in our case,” said Fjellhoy, also speaking to Arab News ahead of the forum.

“I feel like just doing proper identity checks so you can’t catfish someone, for example. We see that they have some, but I feel like fraud is much larger than just what happens on the dating app. They take you away from the dating app. It’s just one avenue of many that fraudsters are using.”

Beyond dating apps tightening their safeguards, there have also been calls to improve awareness in schools so that young people are better equipped to spot catfishing — the use of fake accounts to lure victims — and romance scams.

“If you’re going to educate young people, maybe teach them more about what kind of different people exist in the world,” said Fjellhoy.

“There are some people that don’t have empathy, there are psychopaths and narcissists who will take advantage of your empathy and those types of things. But I think it’s important to not put too much emphasis on us as victims as well.”

Indeed, there is a danger of victim blaming if the responsibility for spotting scammers is placed on users, when the onus ought to be on clamping down on fraudsters.

“We didn’t do anything wrong here,” said Fjellhoy. “And fraud will always happen. But, when fraud happens, how do we, as a society, talk about how to stop it?”

Nevertheless, there are several red flags that dating app users can look out for, says Sjoholm, including “love bombing” — the practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection with a view to influence or manipulate them.

However, Sjoholm believes that the very nature of social media makes it difficult to determine the truth about someone. “When it comes to social media, it is entirely about everyone wanting to show off their best side,” she said.

“Everyone wants to show off the good parts. When it comes to social media, I would say that 95 percent is just fraud in general.”

The mental health repercussions of romance fraud cannot be understated, as victims grapple with both the financial fallout and intense feelings of shame. “Regarding how your mental health is when you realize you’ve been defrauded, I think, for me, why I felt so low that I ended up in a psychiatric ward is that no one took you seriously,” said Fjellhoy.

“And I feel like, for example, you go to the police and they just brush you off. And I tried to contact the banks and they told me: ‘Well, you still need to pay down the loans.’ And you’re still mentally low. It’s double — emotional and economic. You see no way out.”

As a result of her ordeal, Fjellhoy established the Action Reaction Foundation to focus on the mental health challenges of survivors and to lobby for stronger laws as well as policies to protect victims.

One of the lasting effects of the ordeal is an inability to trust others easily. “I’m still having trouble with trust,” said Sjoholm.

“I have more good days than I have bad days. But even on my good days, when someone does something very nice toward me, I can sometimes feel like there’s an agenda behind it. That someone is there to hurt me.

“I can still socialize. I can meet new people, but I’m having a very hard time to really talk to people. I don’t want to take away trust. You should be trusting people, you should be helping people, because that is what makes this world better. But, of course, this has been a tremendous trauma.”

For Fjellhoy, it is also about having trust in the system to protect victims and take their claims seriously. 

“That the police will be there to protect you, that if you go to the bank, and you’re saying you’re being defrauded, you can get some peace and quiet to figure things out, that they will give that to us,” said Fjellhoy.

“Just so many things that could have made everything that happened afterward much easier, which would have made the fight easier.”

For others who have fallen victim to romance scams, Fjellhoy’s advice is to speak up.

“Please report it to the police, no matter what,” she said. “We know that it hasn’t gone our way. But they need to know about all cases so they can see how big it actually is.

“Please, report it.”


Israeli settlers set sights on Trump support for full control of West Bank

Updated 23 November 2024
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Israeli settlers set sights on Trump support for full control of West Bank

  • Settlements expand rapidly under Netanyahu’s pro-settler coalition
  • Trump’s potential support for annexation raises hopes among settlers

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Move would risk US goals, end hope of two-state solution, says former US envoy

SHILO, West Bank: After a record expansion of Israeli settlement activity, some settler advocates in the occupied West Bank are looking to Donald Trump to fulfil a dream of imposing sovereignty over the area seen by Palestinians as the heart of a future state. The West Bank has been transformed by the rapid growth of Jewish settlements since Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu returned at the head of a far-right nationalist coalition two years ago. During that time, an explosion in settler violence that has led to US sanctions.
In recent weeks, Israeli flags have sprouted on hilltops claimed by some settlers in the West Bank’s Jordan Valley, adding to worries among many local Palestinians of greater control of those areas. Some settlers prayed for Trump’s victory before the election.
“We have high hopes. We’re even buoyant to a certain extent,” said Yisrael Medad, an activist and writer who supports Israel absorbing the West Bank, speaking to Reuters about Trump’s victory in the house he has lived in for more than four decades in the West Bank settlement of Shilo. Settlers have celebrated Trump’s nomination of a clutch of officials known for pro-Israel views, among them ambassador Mike Huckabee, an evangelical Christian who has said the West Bank is not under occupation and prefers the term “communities” to “settlements.” And over the past month, Israeli government ministers and settler advocates who have cultivated ties with the US Christian right have increasingly pushed the once fringe idea of “restoring sovereignty” over the West Bank in public comments. The Netanyahu government has not announced any official decision on the matter. A spokesperson at Netanyahu’s office declined to comment for this story. It is by no means certain Trump will give backing to a move that puts at risk Washington’s strategic ambition of a wider deal under the Abraham Accords to normalize Israel’s ties with Saudi Arabia, which, like most countries in the world, rejects Israeli sovereignty in the West Bank.
“Trump’s desire for expansion of the Abraham Accords will be a top priority,” Dennis Ross, a former Middle East negotiator for Democratic and Republican administrations said, based on his own assessment of Trump’s foreign policy considerations.
“There’s no way the Saudis will think seriously about joining if Israel formally absorbs the West Bank,” he said. Annexation would bury any hope of a two-state solution that creates an independent Palestine and also complicate efforts to resolve more than a year of war in Gaza that has spilled over into neighboring Lebanon. In his first term, Trump moved the US embassy in Israel to Jerusalem and ended Washington’s long-held position that the settlements are illegal. But, in 2020, his plan to create a rump of a Palestinian state along existing boundaries derailed efforts by Netanyahu for Israeli sovereignty over the area.
The president-elect has not revealed his plans for the region. Trump transition spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt did not answer questions about policy, saying only that he would “restore peace through strength around the world.” Nonetheless, Israeli Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich, one of the most prominent pro-settler ministers in the government, said last week he hoped Israel could absorb the West Bank as early as next year with the support of the Trump administration.
Israel Ganz, the head of the Yesha Council, an umbrella group of West Bank Jewish municipalities, said in an interview that he hoped the Trump administration would “let” Israel’s government move ahead.
Ganz led a prayer session for a Trump victory in the ruins of an old Byzantine basilica in Shilo before the Nov. 5 election.
“We prayed that God will lead to better days for the people of the United States of America and for Israel,” he said. Shilo has been a popular stop for visiting US politicians, including both Huckabee and Pete Hegseth, Trump’s nominee for Secretary of Defense.
Last week, Huckabee told Arutz Sheva, an Israeli news outlet aligned with Smotrich’s Religious Zionism movement, that any decision on annexation would be a matter for the Israeli government. Huckabee did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
Senior Palestine Liberation Organization official Wasel Abu Yousef said any such action by the Israeli government “will not change the truth that this is Palestinian land.”


SURROUNDED
Together with the neighboring settlement of Eli, Shilo sits near the center of the West Bank, an hour from Jerusalem along Route 60, a smooth motorway that contrasts sharply with the potholed roads that connect the area’s Palestinian cities.
Bashar Al-Qaryouti, a Palestinian activist from the nearby village of Qaryut, said the expansion of Shilo and Eli had left Palestinian villages in the central West Bank surrounded.
Al-Qaryouti described an increase in settlers constructing without waiting for formal paperwork from the Israeli government, a trend also noted by Peace Now, an Israeli activist group that tracks settlement issues.
“This is happening on the ground,” Al-Qaryouti told Reuters by phone. “Areas across the center of the West Bank are under the control of settlers now.”
The West Bank, which many in Israel call Judea and Samaria after the old Biblical terms for the area, is a kidney shaped region about 100 km (60 miles) long and 50 km (30 miles) wide that has been at the heart of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict since it was captured by Israel in the 1967 Middle East war. Most countries consider the area as occupied territory and deem the settlements illegal under international law, a position upheld by the UN’s top court in July.
Around 750,000 Palestinians were displaced with the creation of Israel in 1948, according to UN estimates. The West Bank is claimed by Palestinians as the nucleus of a future independent state, along with the Mediterranean enclave of Gaza to the south.
But the spread of Jewish settlements, which have mushroomed across the West Bank since the Oslo interim peace accords 30 years ago, has transformed the area.
Revered as the site of the tabernacle set up by the ancient Israelites after they returned from exile in Egypt and kept there for 300 years, modern Shilo was established in the 1970s and has the air of a gated community of quiet streets and neat suburban homes. Its population in 2022 was around 5,000 people.
For supporters of Jewish settlements, the Biblical connection is what gives them the right to be there, whatever international law may say.
“Even if the Byzantines, the Romans, the Mameluks and Ottomans ruled it, it was our land,” said Medad.
As such, settler advocates reject the term “annexation,” which they say suggests taking a foreign territory. Settlement construction in the West Bank reached record levels in 2023. Since the war started in Gaza last October, a spate of new roads and ground works have changed the appearance of hillsides across the area visibly.
Criticism from the Biden administration has done nothing to stop it. At the same time, violence by Jewish settlers against Palestinians in the West Bank has spiralled, including around Shilo, drawing international condemnation and US and European sanctions, as recently as this week, against individuals deemed to have taken a prominent part.
Settler leaders including Ganz say violence has no place in their movement. The settler movement has argued that they provide security for the rest of Israel with their presence in areas near Palestinian towns and cities.

“IRREVERSIBLE FACT”
A series of steps have been taken to consolidate Israel’s position in the West Bank since Netanyahu’s government came to power with a coalition agreement stating “The Jewish people have a natural right to the Land of Israel.”
“We’re changing a lot of things on the ground to make it a fact that Israel is in Judea and Samaria as well,” said Ohad Tal, chairman of Smotrich’s parliamentary faction, speaking beside a red Trump MAGA hat on a shelf in his Knesset office.
A whole mechanism has been built “to effectively apply sovereignty in Judea and Samaria, to make it an irreversible fact that Jewish presence is there and to stay.”
Many functions relating to settlements previously handled by the military have been handed to the Settlement Administration, a civilian body answerable directly to finance minister Smotrich, who has an additional defense ministry portfolio that puts him in charge of running the West Bank.
In 2024, nearly 6,000 acres (2,400 hectares) have been declared Israeli state land, a classification that makes it easier to build settlements, the biggest annual growth on record and accounting for half of all areas declared state land in the past three decades, Peace Now said in a report in October.
At least 43 new settler outposts have been established over the past year, compared with an average of under 7 a year since 1996, according to a separate analysis from Peace Now.
The outposts, often satellites of existing settlements on nearby hilltops that allow the original location to expand, have been served with kilometers of new roads and other infrastructure. Often built illegally according to Israeli law, the Yesha Council has said almost 70 were extended government support this year.
“It’s clever because it’s boring looking,” said Ziv Stahl, a director of Yesh Din, another Israeli group that tracks settlements. “They are not legislating now, saying ‘We are annexing the West Bank’, they are just doing it.”


Turkiye replaces pro-Kurdish mayors with state officials in two eastern cities

Updated 23 November 2024
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Turkiye replaces pro-Kurdish mayors with state officials in two eastern cities

ANKARA: Turkiye stripped two elected pro-Kurdish mayors of their posts in eastern cities on Friday, for convictions on terrorism-related offenses, the interior ministry said, temporarily appointing state officials in their places instead.
The local governor replaced mayor Cevdet Konak in Tunceli, while a local administrator was appointed in the place of Ovacik mayor Mustafa Sarigul, the ministry said in a statement, adding these were “temporary measures.”
Konak is a member of the pro-Kurdish DEM Party, which has 57 seats in the national parliament, and Sarigul is a member of the main opposition Republican People’s Party (CHP). Dozens of pro-Kurdish mayors from its predecessor parties have been removed from their posts on similar charges in the past.
CHP leader Ozgur Ozel said authorities had deemed that Sarigul’s attendance at a funeral was a crime and called the move to appoint a trustee “a theft of the national will,” adding his party would stand against the “injustice.”
“Removing a mayor who has been elected by the votes of the people for two terms over a funeral he attended 12 years ago has no more jurisdiction than the last struggles of a government on its way out,” Ozel said on X.
Earlier this month, Turkiye replaced three pro-Kurdish mayors in southeastern cities over similar terrorism-related reasons, drawing backlash from the DEM Party and others.
Last month, a mayor from the CHP was arrested after prosecutors accused him of belonging to the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK), banned as a terrorist group in Turkiye and deemed a terrorist group by the European Union and United States.
The appointment of government trustees followed a surprise proposal by President Tayyip Erdogan’s main ally last month to end the state’s 40-year conflict with the PKK.


Gaza civil defense says 19 killed in Israeli strikes

Updated 23 November 2024
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Gaza civil defense says 19 killed in Israeli strikes

  • More than 40 others wounded in three massacres caused by Israeli air strikes in the Gaza Strip

Gaza City: Gaza’s civil defense agency said that 19 people, some of them children, were killed in Israeli air strikes and tank fire on Saturday.
Agency spokesman Mahmud Bassal told AFP that “19 people were killed and more than 40 others wounded in three massacres caused by Israeli air strikes in the Gaza Strip between midnight and this morning,” as well as by tank fire in Rafah in the territory’s south.


11 dead as powerful Israeli airstrike shakes central Beirut

Updated 13 min 1 sec ago
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11 dead as powerful Israeli airstrike shakes central Beirut

  • Attack destroyed an eight-story building and caused a large number of fatalities and injuries

BEIRUT: A powerful airstrike killed 11 people in central Beirut on Saturday, the Lebanese civil defense said, shaking the capital as Israel pressed its offensive against the Iran-backed Hezbollah group.

The attack destroyed an eight-story building and caused a large number of fatalities and injuries, Lebanon’s National News Agency said. Footage broadcast by Lebanon’s Al-Jadeed station showed at least one destroyed building and several others badly damaged around it.

Israel used bunker buster bombs in the strike, leaving a deep crater, the agency said. Beirut smelled strongly of explosives hours after the attack.

The blasts shook the capital at around 4 a.m. (0200 GMT). Security sources said at least four bombs were dropped in the attack.

It marked the fourth Israeli airstrike this week targeting a central area of Beirut, in contrast to the bulk of Israel’s attacks on the capital region, which have hit the Hezbollah-controlled southern suburbs. On Sunday an Israeli airstrike killed a Hezbollah media official in the Ras Al-Nabaa district of central Beirut.

Rescuers searched through rubble, in an area of the city known for its antique shops.

HOSPITALIZED DAUGHTER

A man whose family was hurt tried to comfort a traumatized woman outside a hospital. Car windows were shattered.

“There was dust and wrecked houses, people running and screaming, they were running, my wife is in hospital, my daughter is in hospital, my aunt is in the hospital,” said the man, Nemir Zakariya, who held up a picture of his daughter.

“This is the little one, and my son also got hurt – this is my daughter, she is in the American University (of Beirut Medical Center), this is what happened.”

Israel launched a major offensive against Hezbollah in Lebanon in September, following nearly a year of cross-border hostilities ignited by the Gaza war, pounding wide areas of Lebanon with airstrikes and sending troops into the south.

Israeli strikes killed at least 62 people and injured 111 in Lebanon on Thursday, bringing the toll since October 2023 to 3,645 dead and 15,355 injured, Lebanon’s health ministry said. The figures do not distinguish between combatants and civilians.

Hezbollah and the Lebanese government accuse Israel of indiscriminate bombing that kills civilians. Israel denies the allegation and says it takes numerous steps to avoid the deaths of civilians.

Hezbollah strikes in the same period have killed more than 100 people in northern Israel and the Israeli-occupied Golan Heights. They include more than 70 soldiers killed in strikes in northern Israel and the Golan Heights and in combat in southern Lebanon, according to Israel.

The conflict began when Hezbollah, Tehran’s most important ally in the region, opened fire in solidarity with its Palestinian ally Hamas after it launched the Oct. 7, 2023 attack on southern Israel.

A US mediator traveled to Lebanon and Israel this week in an effort to secure a ceasefire. The envoy, Amos Hochstein, indicated progress had been made after meetings in Beirut, before going to meet Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Israel Katz.


Orchestra conductor mourns childhood home’s destruction in Israel’s southern Lebanon offensive

Updated 23 November 2024
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Orchestra conductor mourns childhood home’s destruction in Israel’s southern Lebanon offensive

  • Destruction of Lubnan Baalbaki’s childhood home in October came during Israel’s offensive in Lebanon
  • Baalbaki’s family home in Odaisseh, designed by his late father, held more than just personal memories

BEIRUT: Lubnan Baalbaki, the conductor of the Lebanese Philharmonic Orchestra, watched on his phone screen as an aerial camera pointed to a village in southern Lebanon. In seconds, multiple houses erupted into rubble, smoke filling the air. The camera panned right, revealing widespread devastation.
He zoomed in to confirm his fears: His family’s house in the border village of Odaisseh, where his parents are buried, was now in ruins.
“To see your house getting bombed and in a split second turned into ash, I don’t think there is description for it,” Baalbaki said.
The destruction of his childhood home in October came during Israel’s offensive in Lebanon. The aim, Israel says, is to debilitate the Hezbollah militant group, push it away from the border and end more than a year of Hezbollah fire into northern Israel.
The Israeli military has released videos of controlled detonations in areas along the border, saying it is targeting Hezbollah facilities and weapons.
But the bombardment has also wiped out entire residential neighborhoods or even villages. The World Bank in a recent report said over 99,000 housing units have been “fully or partially damaged” by the war in Lebanon.
Baalbaki’s family home in Odaisseh, designed by his late father, renowned Lebanese painter Abdel Hamid Baalbaki, held more than just personal memories. It held a collection of Abdel Hamid’s paintings, his art workshop and over 1,500 books. All were destroyed along with the house.
What cut even deeper, Baalbaki said, was the loss of the letters his parents exchanged during his father’s art studies in France. Only a few remain as digital photos.
“The language of passion and love they shared was filled with poetry,” Baalbaki said.
In a book of poems and photographs his father created for his wife following her sudden death in a car accident, the first page reads, “Dedication to Adeeba, the partner of my most precious days, the love bird that left its nest too soon.”
Abdel Hamid painstakingly designed his wife’s tombstone. Later, he was laid to rest beside her in the garden next to the house. For their son, watching his childhood home go up in smoke brought back the pain of losing them.
It was a moment he had feared for months.
Hezbollah began firing missiles into Israel on Oct. 8, 2023, in solidarity with Hamas in Gaza. Israel responded with airstrikes and shelling. For nearly a year, the conflict remained limited.
After the war dramatically escalated on Sept. 23 with intense Israeli airstrikes on southern and eastern Lebanon as well as Beirut’s southern suburbs, Baalbaki and his siblings frequently checked satellite images for updates on their village.
On Oct. 26, explosions in and around Odaisseh triggered an earthquake alert in northern Israel. That day, videos circulated online, one of which showed their home being obliterated.
Until a few days before that, the satellite images showed their house still standing.
Now, Baalbaki said, he is resolved to honor his father’s dream.
“The mourning phase started to turn to determination to rebuild this project,” he said.
When the war is over, he plans to rebuild the house as an art museum and cultural center.