Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

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Updated 17 May 2022
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Victims of Israeli 'Tinder Swindler' recount journey to becoming inspiration for women

  • Norwegian Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish Pernilla Sjoholm to deliver special keynote at Arab Women Forum
  • Defrauded by Israeli con artist, women have hit back by speaking up about experience of romance scams

DUBAI: Just swipe left. At least that is what many an indecisive Tinder user may have found themselves doing after the notorious case of the dating app fraudster dubbed the “Tinder Swindler” came to light in an explosive Netflix docu-drama earlier this year.

Despite being defrauded by the conman, Norwegian TV personality Cecilie Fjellhoy and Swedish business owner Pernilla Sjoholm are hitting back by speaking up about their experience.

The women will appear during a special keynote address titled “When women fight back” at the Arab Women Forum, held in partnership with Arab News, at the Palazzo Versace Dubai on May 17.

“It was very traumatic,” Sjoholm told Arab News, reflecting on her experience ahead of Tuesday’s forum appearance. “It wasn’t only about the money you have lost. You have lost the way you viewed yourself, how you viewed everything.

“I used to think about fraud as: ‘Oh my God, who gets defrauded? You must be of lower intelligence or something.’ And I’m very embarrassed to say this today, because of what I lost.

“I was 31 years old, and it was not the way I would have imagined my life to be. To lose everything. You also lose your soul.”

Based on an expose by Verdens Gang, a Norwegian tabloid newspaper known under the abbreviation VG, the program unearthed the story of Israeli national Shimon Hayut, who allegedly posed on the dating app Tinder as Simon Leviev, claiming to be the son of a diamond mogul.

Hayut notoriously charmed women and persuaded them to loan him money, swindling an estimated $10 million from people across the globe.

According to reports, Hayut followed a pattern. After matching with unsuspecting women on Tinder, he would take them on a lavish first date and slowly build up a relationship, all the while dating other women.

Eventually, the fraudster would confide in them that a nefarious set of “enemies” were after him, persuading the women to send him money on the understanding that he would quickly pay them back.

After a nifty piece of counter-swindling by one woman, Ayleen Koeleman, who had been alerted to the con by the expose in VG, Hayut was arrested in 2019 and sentenced to 15 months in prison for fraud in Israel.

However, Hayut served only five months behind bars before being released. He has never been charged for crimes related to Fjellhoy and Sjoholm, and denies their claims of fraud.

And the story does not end there. In a shocking twist, Hayut is now pursuing a Hollywood career, while the women he targeted remain in debt to this day.

“We were very disappointed,” said Sjoholm. “Unfortunately, there is no extradition from Israel to Europe. So he’s still there.

“We don’t think that they handled this case properly and they should have. And, unfortunately, that is the way it happens in a lot of fraud cases. I mean, I just know the numbers in Sweden. They drop 96 percent of all the cases they get, because they have too much.”

Instead of consigning themselves to a life of victimhood, both Sjoholm and Fjellhoy are working to inspire women across the world to identify and fight back against romance scams.

“We have talked about a lot of the shame that surrounds fraud and I think that it’s so important to stand up and say that this could happen to anyone,” said Sjoholm.

“Because it’s so common that fraudsters get away with fraud due to people being scared of sharing their story. So I definitely know that we helped a lot of people and hopefully will help a lot of people in the future as well.”

According to Action Fraud, the UK’s national reporting center for fraud and cybercrime, the majority of victims of romance fraud are women. Sjoholm believes women are specifically targeted for their perceived emotional vulnerabilities.

“I think that we women are more emotional people,” she said. “These fraudsters work a lot with emotions, because it is a form of emotional abuse.”

The Tinder Swindler case has raised many questions about what responsibility dating apps ought to hold for romance scams and what more they could be doing to safeguard users.

“I don’t feel like there was a lot that the dating app could have done in our case,” said Fjellhoy, also speaking to Arab News ahead of the forum.

“I feel like just doing proper identity checks so you can’t catfish someone, for example. We see that they have some, but I feel like fraud is much larger than just what happens on the dating app. They take you away from the dating app. It’s just one avenue of many that fraudsters are using.”

Beyond dating apps tightening their safeguards, there have also been calls to improve awareness in schools so that young people are better equipped to spot catfishing — the use of fake accounts to lure victims — and romance scams.

“If you’re going to educate young people, maybe teach them more about what kind of different people exist in the world,” said Fjellhoy.

“There are some people that don’t have empathy, there are psychopaths and narcissists who will take advantage of your empathy and those types of things. But I think it’s important to not put too much emphasis on us as victims as well.”

Indeed, there is a danger of victim blaming if the responsibility for spotting scammers is placed on users, when the onus ought to be on clamping down on fraudsters.

“We didn’t do anything wrong here,” said Fjellhoy. “And fraud will always happen. But, when fraud happens, how do we, as a society, talk about how to stop it?”

Nevertheless, there are several red flags that dating app users can look out for, says Sjoholm, including “love bombing” — the practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection with a view to influence or manipulate them.

However, Sjoholm believes that the very nature of social media makes it difficult to determine the truth about someone. “When it comes to social media, it is entirely about everyone wanting to show off their best side,” she said.

“Everyone wants to show off the good parts. When it comes to social media, I would say that 95 percent is just fraud in general.”

The mental health repercussions of romance fraud cannot be understated, as victims grapple with both the financial fallout and intense feelings of shame. “Regarding how your mental health is when you realize you’ve been defrauded, I think, for me, why I felt so low that I ended up in a psychiatric ward is that no one took you seriously,” said Fjellhoy.

“And I feel like, for example, you go to the police and they just brush you off. And I tried to contact the banks and they told me: ‘Well, you still need to pay down the loans.’ And you’re still mentally low. It’s double — emotional and economic. You see no way out.”

As a result of her ordeal, Fjellhoy established the Action Reaction Foundation to focus on the mental health challenges of survivors and to lobby for stronger laws as well as policies to protect victims.

One of the lasting effects of the ordeal is an inability to trust others easily. “I’m still having trouble with trust,” said Sjoholm.

“I have more good days than I have bad days. But even on my good days, when someone does something very nice toward me, I can sometimes feel like there’s an agenda behind it. That someone is there to hurt me.

“I can still socialize. I can meet new people, but I’m having a very hard time to really talk to people. I don’t want to take away trust. You should be trusting people, you should be helping people, because that is what makes this world better. But, of course, this has been a tremendous trauma.”

For Fjellhoy, it is also about having trust in the system to protect victims and take their claims seriously. 

“That the police will be there to protect you, that if you go to the bank, and you’re saying you’re being defrauded, you can get some peace and quiet to figure things out, that they will give that to us,” said Fjellhoy.

“Just so many things that could have made everything that happened afterward much easier, which would have made the fight easier.”

For others who have fallen victim to romance scams, Fjellhoy’s advice is to speak up.

“Please report it to the police, no matter what,” she said. “We know that it hasn’t gone our way. But they need to know about all cases so they can see how big it actually is.

“Please, report it.”


Moroccan population grows to 36.8 million in 2024

Updated 6 sec ago
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Moroccan population grows to 36.8 million in 2024

RABAT: The Moroccan population grew to 36.82 million by September 2024, according to the preliminary results of a national census, the spokesman for the government said on Thursday.
Compared with the most recent census in 2014, the Moroccan population grew by 2.98 million or 8.8 percent, spokesman Mustapha Baitas told reporters.
The number of households grew to 9.27 million by September 2024, up 26.8 percent compared to 2014, while the number of foreigners living in the country increased to 148,152, up 71.8 percent, he said.

Israel escalates attacks on Lebanon as strikes hit near Beirut airport

A rescuer and a member of the Malaysian battalion of UNIFIL treat a soldier wounded in an Israeli airstrike near Sidon. (AFP)
Updated 40 min 54 sec ago
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Israel escalates attacks on Lebanon as strikes hit near Beirut airport

  • Drone strike near Sidon kills three and injures Lebanese soldiers and UN peacekeepers
  • Former Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah’s uncle and family members also killed

BEIRUT: At least 10 people were killed in Lebanon on Thursday in Israeli drone attacks on roads across the south, Mount Lebanon and Bekaa.

Former Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah’s uncle and his family members were also killed by strikes in southern Lebanon.

In Baalbek-Hermel, dozens of victims were laid to rest. They died trapped under the rubble of several flattened buildings, some adjacent to the Baalbek Temple.

In the afternoon, an Israeli strike targeted Tyre.

An Israeli drone hit a car on the Araya road in Mount Lebanon, killing the driver, a 30-year-old woman, making her Israel’s first female target.

Doaa Mattar’s family said that they lost contact with their daughter at the time of the raid.

A relative said that Mattar had taken her friend’s car to drive her family from Beirut to Bhamdoun.

Her body was taken to Hezbollah’s Al-Rassoul Al-Azam Hospital, while two injured passersby — a man and his grandson — were transported to the Sacre Coeur Hospital.

Hours later, another Israeli drone targeted a car on the Awali River road at the entrance to the city of Sidon, south of Beirut.

The strike killed three people inside the vehicle, injured three Lebanese soldiers at a nearby checkpoint and damaged several cars, including a passing UNIFIL convoy bus.

It resulted in five minor injuries among Malaysian UNIFIL soldiers and two civilian injuries.

Meanwhile, Beirut’s southern suburb experienced a violent night of airstrikes that continued until the early hours of Thursday morning, targeting Haret Hreik, Burj Al-Barajneh, Tahwitat Al-Ghadir and Ouzai.

One of the strikes came close to a runway at Beirut airport, causing damage to facilities.

However, airport operations continued, with Middle East Airlines switching to alternative runways for landing minutes after Israel issued evacuation warnings.

All planes heading for Beirut landed shortly before midnight ahead of the Israeli-imposed deadline.

The airstrikes on the southern suburb of Beirut caused extensive damage to residential buildings, shops, schools, social facilities and health centers.

A week of relative calm in Beirut’s southern suburb was shattered as warning sirens caused recently returned residents to flee north.

Many families were forced on to the streets, waiting in their vehicles at a safe distance from the targeted areas.

The Israeli military claimed to have conducted precision strikes against Hezbollah command centers and military infrastructure in the Lebanese capital, according to military spokesman Avichay Adraee.

Israel’s systematic destruction of southern Lebanese towns continued with renewed intensity. Israeli forces reportedly rigged and detonated entire neighborhoods in the border town of Mays Al-Jabal.

Israeli warplanes conducted strikes on the outskirts of Yahmar Al-Shaqif near the Litani River, hitting the town center and eastern areas. The predominantly Christian town of Rmeish, whose residents have steadfastly refused to leave, was also targeted.

In Jbaa, located in the Tuffah region, airstrikes caused significant damage. A separate strike on Bazouriye killed four members of Nasrallah’s extended family, including his uncle, cousins and their grandson.

Reports indicate that Israeli forces used internationally prohibited cluster bombs in their targeting of agricultural fields.

The scope of destruction has reached unprecedented levels in Nabatieh, where medical facilities, businesses, institutions, warehouses and residential buildings have been severely damaged.

Footage shared on social media revealed that entire neighborhoods had been turned into rubble.

Violent clashes erupted on Wednesday evening between Hezbollah fighters and Israeli forces near Rmeish and Yaroun, opposite the Dovev settlement.

Exchanges of fire were also reported near Aita Al-Shaab when Israeli forces attempted to advance into Lebanese territory.

The death and injury toll continues to mount, with the Bekaa region alone reporting 60 casualties, with dozens wounded.

Scenes of mass burials echoed those from Gaza. Among the dead are multiple generations of families, including the Abu Asbar family, who lost parents, children, grandchildren and in-laws during a single Israeli strike.

The attacks have also threatened Lebanon’s cultural heritage, with damage reported near the historic Baalbek Castle complex and the century-old Al-Manshieh building, known for its cultural artifacts.

The Palmyra Hotel, which has hosted decades of Baalbek festivals, also sustained damage.

Baalbek Mayor Mustafa Al-Shall said: “The enemy is targeting poor and residential neighborhoods, and it did not spare archaeological, heritage and historical sites. The number of martyrs in Baalbek is very high.”

One Israeli strike targeted soldier Raed Dandash, born in 2003, as he was driving his car in the town of Talia, in the Bekaa.

An official statement said: “Along with Raed, the strike killed his sister Nathalie and his brother Mohammed, while their mother was seriously injured.”

Airstrikes hit new areas in northern Bekaa, including the towns of Fakeha and Harfouch, killing one.

Lebanon’s officials were shocked by the attacks that targeted the vicinity of Baalbek Castle.

Culture Minister Mohammed Wissam Mortada sent an urgent appeal to UNESCO chief Audrey Azoulay through the head of Lebanon’s permanent mission to the organization, Mustafa Deeb, to “save the castle.”

Several MPs also sent a letter to Azoulay, calling on the international organization to “protect the common heritage of humanity.”

In the letter, MP Najat Saliba called for “the protection of historical sites in Lebanon, especially Baalbek, Tyre, Sidon and other valuable landmarks that are in grave danger due to the escalation of atrocities.”

She said: “These landmarks are priceless not only for our nation but for humanity. They are facing a growing danger with the escalation of the war. Their protection is a responsibility that needs to be assumed in order to preserve a part of human civilization that belongs to our common global and international heritage.”

One building destroyed by Israeli strikes bore an etching showing the year 1928. It was once frequented by French officers during France’s rule over the country.

The Israeli army announced that one of its soldiers “was killed in battles in southern Lebanon, while 60 Hezbollah members were killed during the past 24 hours.”

Hezbollah issued a statement calling on settlers in northern Israel to leave their settlements, warning that they had become become military targets.


Iran’s Pezeshkian says Tehran indifferent to US election result

Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian said Iran's priority is to develop relations with Islamic and neighboring countries. (AFP/Fi
Updated 07 November 2024
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Iran’s Pezeshkian says Tehran indifferent to US election result

  • Pezeshkian says ‘it does not matter’ to Iran who won US election
  • Iran government spokesperson plays down importance of Trump

DUBAI: Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian said the result of the US election did not matter to his country, state media reported on Thursday, amid heightened tensions with Washington over its support for Iran’s arch-enemy, Israel.
Donald Trump’s return to the White House following his election victory this week could mean tougher enforcement of US oil sanctions against Iran, which he initiated in 2018 after quitting a nuclear pact between Tehran and global powers.
The Biden administration has strongly supported Israel in its wars against the Iran-backed Hamas in Gaza and Hezbollah in Lebanon as well as Israeli actions against Iran itself.
Some analysts believe Trump will give Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a greater free hand in dealing with Iran.
“To us it does not matter at all who has won the American election, because our country and system relies on its inner strength and a great and honorable nation,” Pezeshkian said late on Wednesday, quoted by the state news agency IRNA.
It was his first comment on Trump’s election victory.
“We will not be close-minded in developing our relations with other countries (while) we have made it our priority to develop relations with Islamic and neighboring countries,” Pezeshkian said.
It was not immediately clear if Pezeshkian was also referring to the United States, with which Iran does not have diplomatic relations. Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who has the final say in all matters of state, has banned holding any direct talks with the United States.
An Iranian government spokesperson earlier played down the importance of the US election, while a Revolutionary Guards commander voiced readiness for confrontation.
The Iranian leaders’ main concern is the potential for Trump to empower Netanyahu to strike Iran’s nuclear sites, conduct assassinations and reimpose his “maximum pressure” policy through heightened sanctions on the country’s oil industry.
Some, however, suspect Trump will be cautious about the possibility of war.
In 2018, the then-Trump administration exited Iran’s 2015 nuclear pact with six world powers and reimposed harsh sanctions on Iran, prompting Tehran to violate the pact’s nuclear limits.
International sanctions over Tehran’s nuclear program forced Tehran to reach the 2015 pact under which Iran agreed to curb its nuclear program in exchange for lifting the punitive measures.
Trump’s tough stance could force Ayatollah Khamenei to approve talks “whether direct or indirect” with the United States, two Iranian officials have told Reuters.
In September, Pezeshkian said Tehran was ready to end its nuclear standoff with the West, which accuses it of seeking capacity to develop nuclear weapons. Iran says its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes only.


Diplomatic incident in French-owned Jerusalem compound

French Minister for Europe and Foreign Affairs Jean-Noel Barrot(R) walks away after cancelling his visit to the Eleona Domain.
Updated 07 November 2024
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Diplomatic incident in French-owned Jerusalem compound

  • “I will not enter the Eleona Domain today, because Israeli security forces entered with weapons, without prior French authorization, without agreeing to leave today,” Barrot said

JERUSALEM: Israeli police entered the French-owned Eleona church compound in Jerusalem, on Thursday, briefly detaining two gendarmes and prompting French Foreign Minister Jean-Noel Barrot to abandon a scheduled visit, an AFP journalist reported.
“I will not enter the Eleona Domain today, because Israeli security forces entered with weapons, without prior French authorization, without agreeing to leave today,” Barrot said at the scene, calling the standoff “unacceptable.”
France claims the sanctuary on the Mount of Olives as its territory under international treaties. It has been the focus of diplomatic incidents in the past.


UN to consider ‘enhanced protection’ as Lebanon warns heritage at risk

Picture shows the destruction at the site of an Israeli airstrike that targeted Baalbek in Lebanon’s eastern Bekaa Valley.
Updated 40 min 55 sec ago
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UN to consider ‘enhanced protection’ as Lebanon warns heritage at risk

  • A UNESCO committee will meet in extraordinary session in Paris on November 18 to consider the inscription of Lebanese heritage sites
  • “During the devastating war on Lebanon, Israel has caused grave human rights violations and atrocities,” the lawmakers said in their appeal to UNESCO chief Audrey Azoulay

BEIRUT: The UN cultural agency UNESCO said Thursday it would consider enhanced protection of ancient sites in Lebanon after a wave of near-misses in strikes by Israel triggered an appeal by Lebanese lawmakers.
Several Israeli strikes in recent weeks on the eastern city of Baalbek and the southern city of Tyre — both strongholds of Iran-backed militant group Hezbollah — have hit close to ancient Roman ruins designated by UNESCO as World Heritage sites.
A UNESCO committee will meet in extraordinary session in Paris on November 18 to consider the inscription of Lebanese heritage sites on UNESCO’s list of sites under “enhanced protection,” the agency said.
Enhanced protection status gives heritage sites “high-level immunity from military attacks,” UNESCO said, warning that “criminal prosecutions and sanctions, conducted by the competent authorities, may apply in cases where individuals do not respect the enhanced protection granted to a cultural property.”
The announcement came after more than 100 Lebanese lawmakers appealed to UNESCO to ensure the preservation of heritage sites in areas heavily bombed by Israel during its war with Hezbollah.
“During the devastating war on Lebanon, Israel has caused grave human rights violations and atrocities,” the lawmakers said in their appeal to UNESCO chief Audrey Azoulay.
“As parliamentarians, we bring to your attention an urgent need: the protection of Lebanon’s historic sites in Baalbek, Tyre, Sidon, and other invaluable landmarks currently at risk due to the escalation of the atrocities,” it said.
“These cherished landmarks, treasured not only by our nation but by the world, face imminent risk as the war escalates.”
Lebanon is home to six UNESCO World Heritage sites, including Roman ruins in Baalbek and Tyre.
In Baalbek, Israeli strikes on Wednesday destroyed a heritage house dating back to the French mandate and damaged the historic Palmyra Hotel near the city’s Roman temples, according to local authorities.
During its 150-year history, the Palmyra Hotel has welcomed guests including post-war French president Charles de Gaulle and US singer and civil rights activist Nina Simone.
The strikes hit just a few meters (yards) from the ruins, the closest since the start of the war, officials said.
“We are waiting for specialists from UNESCO and the Directorate General of Antiquities” to determine if there was any damage, Baalbek mayor Mustafa Al-Shall told AFP.
Hezbollah and Israel have been at war since late September, when Israel broadened its focus from fighting Hamas in the Gaza Strip to securing its northern border, even as the Gaza war continues.
Since September 23, more than 2,600 people have been killed in Israeli strikes on Lebanon, according to Health Minister Firass Abiad.
Israel says it is targeting Hezbollah positions and infrastructure, including in Tyre and Baalbek.
“To date, the first remote analyzes have not yet identified visible damage to the World Heritage sites of Baalbek and Tyre,” UNESCO said.
“However, these preliminary assessments will have to be complemented by more precise field inspections when the situation permits.”
UNESCO said it was providing expertise and technical support to Lebanon’s antiquities department to help transport and store artefacts from Tyre, Sidon and Baalbek.
The Lebanese MPs called on Azoulay to “urgently prioritize the protection of these historic sites by mobilizing UNESCO’s authority, securing international attention and advocating for protective measures.”
“This appeal goes beyond physical preservation; it is about safeguarding the traditions, stories and values these sites represent — legacies that connect our past to our future.”
Prime Minister Najib Mikati called on Monday for a ceasefire “to protect our country’s cultural heritage, including the ancient archaeological sites of Baalbek and Tyre.”
He called on the UN Security Council to “take swift and decisive action to protect these historical treasures.”