LONDON: There’s an exposition dump not far into Netflix’s new action-spy-thriller-comedy-thing “The Union” where an exasperated Mark Wahlberg (here playing New Jersey construction worker Mike) shakes his head and tells his high-school sweetheart Roxanne (Halle Berry) that “none of this makes any sense!” He’s lamenting the fact that his long-lost flame has just revealed she’s part of a secret government agency operating out of a London landmark and that she tranquilized him and flew him to the UK to join her black ops taskforce – but, quite honestly, Mike could simply be describing “The Union” as a whole.
After Roxanne kidnaps Mike from his humdrum life and trains him up to join her super spy network, the pair embark on a globe-trotting adventure to retrieve a McGuffin-esque list of allied nation intelligence assets that has fallen into the hands of a shady terrorist network. The thinking is that, as Mike is an absolute nobody with no previous experience, he’s the perfect agent to swoop in and complete the mission. He’s backed by Roxanne, as well as a team of eccentric specialists, and guided by gruff overseer Tom Brennan (JK Simmons). Despite the premise being absolutely littered with gaping plotholes, logic-defying story beats and, quite frankly, some very odd in-movie decision making, “The Union” sets off at breakneck speed, ticking off all the prerequisite boxes for a new spy caper. High-octane set pieces? Check. ‘Unexpected’ double-cross? Check. Shoehorned romance subplot? Check. Sequel-teasing final act? Double check.
Despite what Mike thinks, it actually all makes perfect sense – it’s franchise-building-by-numbers, and something Netflix has done time and time again with movies like “6 Underground”, “Heart of Stone” “The Gray Man” and about a dozen more. Director Julian Farino (who helmed much of the Wahlberg-produced HBO hit show “Entourage”) does his best, and he’s at least overseen a decent-looking movie. But “The Union” labors insufferably under its ridiculous plot, drawing nothing more than so-so performances from a cast of usually charismatic stars and dragging itself to a bedraggled, predictable ending.